The Alchemists Clubhouse is a weekly newsletter of art, poetry, and coaching tips, plus special features like this one! Full members are invited to live workshops on Zoom and have access to the full archive of recordings.
This special feature post is part of a new series for 2024. Once a month, in addition to the weekly newsletter, you’ll meet a new guest Alchemist and learn about how they create and celebrate beauty in the world. I hope these features inspire you and entice you to share some of your own creative adventures with us, too!
Check out last month’s special guest feature with actor/director Dan Istrate:
Meet Guest Alchemist, Steph Balzer
Steph is founder of Cento, a Substack publication designed to deepen and expand the conversation around coaching, creativity, leadership, and personal growth. Based on that one-sentence introduction, you might already guess why I asked her to share a piece of her beautiful and thoughtful writing with you for this Guest Alchemist post!
Stephanie and I were introduced by a mutual friend a few months ago. In the photo above, she’s reading poetry in Seattle at the AWP conference in 2014, and her talents extend into multiple forms of writing as well as publishing and coaching. About Cento, she writes:
I’ve started describing it as “Rolling Stone but about coaching” to give people a sense of the intention and vibe. I’m also seeking to address so many of the questions people have about the field of coaching—Is coaching worth it? What can it do for me? Where do you find a coach? Who is it for?
In the end, I always wanted to be Terry Gross. And Princess Leia. And Frank O’Hara, and Joan Didion. Now I’m bits of all of them. Welcome to the resistance.
:)
I know you’ll enjoy this essay, a reflection on the paradoxical nature of the growth process. We both look forward to reading your comments!
“No man ever steps into the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man.” — Heraclitus
I wonder if Heraclitus would be surprised to learn that his words grace Pinterist boards and office walls to this day. Those ancient Greeks, right? Still trending after 2,500 years.
Inspirational posters aside, Heraclitus’ idea resonates because the nature of change is surprising and enigmatic.
I take it for granted that, as a person invested in my personal growth, I’m evolving all of the time. I know it to be true because I work at it daily. I’m becoming more flexible, more understanding, more connected, and more sure of myself. I’m getting more skilled at meeting others with empathy and generosity, especially when we hold divergent beliefs.
Do other people see these changes in me?
They might if we are close. And yet, in general, we consider others to be more static and predictable in nature than ourselves. And as far as I’ve contemplated the essence of rivers? I might also tell you that the Colorado is the Colorado; the Nile, the Nile. Their water may be in motion but the fundamental nature of each river is unwavering.
The scientific term for water that appears still but is actually moving is “laminar flow,” or water moving in parallel layers with no disruption between them, resulting in movement that appears smooth and still. You’ve likely noticed this in a fast-moving creek when water glides over stones, or in the stream spouting from a hose or faucet.
When Sharna suggested that she and I exchange posts for each other, I considered a few tips. But the idea that everyone is changing, or capable of change—even when we cannot see it—is a good reminder for all of us. I like how it speaks to Sharna’s piece on assuming positive intent, too: Believing that people are capable of growth seems related to assuming positive intent.
I’ve had a decades-long conversation about this topic with a friend. It started as an argument, actually. I took the position that people can undergo profound change throughout the course of their lives. He took the opposite stance, that people’s natures are fundamentally unwavering. Philosophers might call this our “essence.” My friend and I are, of course, both right. There’s something comforting and true in the fact that when you reunite with friends or family after a long absence, you can pick up right where you left off, as if no time had passed. Your connection remains intact, and you immediately feel a sense of intimacy and ease.
And yet, you are both older, hopefully wiser. Maybe your edges have softened or your values shifted. Maybe you’ve learned new skills, traveled, or moved in different circles. Maybe you’ve suffered tragedies or life experiences that challenged you, as well. Or you studied. You meditated. You invested, somehow, in your growth.
What is stable and what is fluid within us?
You can go down a rabbit hole of research about personality, temperament, trauma, mental health, etc., and draw conclusions across the board. This is the psychologist’s domain, but it’s also within the realm of philosophy, neuroscience, art, and spirituality. And yet, academic paths may very well point you back here, acknowledging that each of us has a degree of agency in who we are, and how we choose to experience others.
Rivers evolve, and they remain steadfast. Both ideas are true at once. Unlike rivers, we have a say in our evolution and growth. And we can choose to believe others are capable of evolving, as well.
How might you recognize and celebrate your own evolution this week? How might you recognize and celebrate your steadfastness?
Read more about coaching from Stephanie and her guests on Cento.
>> Want to feel more creative in your everyday life? Join my upcoming 6-week Summer course. Details below!