Tip: Make up rules
A coaching tip for everyday magic
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Usually, I find myself encouraging clients to break unconscious rules in order to make positive change, but today we’re talking about the opposite: making up new rules!
I find this tip especially helpful in families, as a way of establishing consensus on everyday norms and expectations, but you can definitely use it with a professional team of any kind to build a healthy culture, or even just for yourself.
When you make up your own rules, the point is to increase the qualities you want to experience in the group or in your everyday life, like harmony, connection, and well-being. This practice can be quite fun once you give yourself permission to be playful!
Here are two rules I’ve made up with my Alchemist husband:
Pause Button: If one wants the other’s attention when they are doing something, the rule is to say “pause” and then the other one has to stop and give their attention. This rule protects us from “screen capture” and reminds us that the other person is always more important than organizing a closet, looking up what time the supermarket closes, reading a book, or stretching our hamstrings.
Do Over: If one of us inadvertently says something awkward and the other one is tempted to feel upset or offended, the rule is that we can at any time say “Do Over” and then immediately we both have to strike the whole thing from the record. This rule has prevented countless arguments and hurt feelings, and has taught us to assume positive intent in all things.
Ready to make up your own rules?
What’s something that is a little irritating, and that happens over and over again?
What would you prefer to have happen instead?
What’s the fastest way to make that happen? It might be a simple word or action, or refraining from a word or action.
Think like a kid: direct, obvious, and maybe even a little silly!
