How to Mend a Broken Heart (Take 2)
Sonnet
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As a creative exercise, I decided to re-write a poem from one form into another. It was quite a radical transformation, from a prose-style list poem into a traditional Shakespearean sonnet. I had to eliminate most of the original content and choose just a few images to focus on for the new poem. In case you’d like to compare the two, here is the original:
The new sonnet has (mostly) 10 syllables per line and is written in iambic pentameter, and follows the Shakespearean rhyme scheme (abba cbbc effe gg). I’d really love to read your comments on how each one lands with you as you read it.
Similar? Different? Any preferences?
In case you’d like to write some metered poetry with me, I highly recommend Mary Oliver’s absolute gem of a book, Rules for the Dance: A Handbook for Writing and Reading Metrical Verse. I discovered it recently in my local library, and it inspired me to deepen my writing practice of metrical poetry.
If you write your own sonnet, please share it in the comments!
How to Mend a Broken Heart
(Sonnet version)
Whittle a needle until its tip is fine,
so sleek and pure it vanishes from sight.
Use horn or tusk or bone for your design.
And thread the eye with spider silk by night.
Align your tools, your heart, your clean remorse
and lay your stitches down at measured pace.
Sturdy mending won’t be done by force,
but by gradual, decelerating grace.
Stay up all night to sing it lullabies
that hint at lands mysterious and new.
Wrap with shadow as you agonize.
Purify with grief and seal with dew.
Now leave your heart in quiet and in rest
as time drips honeyed salve across your chest.
I like both, but the sonnet form forces concision and strong selection of your preferred images. I like the sonnet!