The Alchemists Clubhouse is a weekly newsletter of art, poetry, stories and tips on living a magical, connected life. Paid subscribers are invited to live journaling workshops on Zoom and have access to the entire library of recorded classes.
In Summer, the expansive Huntington Library lawn is a steady, silent explosion of roses: blooms of every color and fragrance, peach, cream, crimson, fuchsia, violet, cotton-candy pink, and on and on, thousands of them nodding to one another demurely across thick leafy rows.
But in Winter, both leaf and petal dry, flake, and flutter into the wind, their color and softness gone, and the gardeners come with their shears. They cut the roses back to half their height, the remaining stems thick, twisted and grey-brown.
The first time I visited the Garden in January, I was properly horrified by this aggressive pruning. But now, having witnessed the cycle several times, I celebrate the annual cutting back, like Persephone’s descent into the underworld. As I walk the path beneath bare trellises, I imagine slender coils of life nestled in the roots of these hundreds of future bushes, and invisible filaments of rose potential encased by the many twisted branches.
I, too, move inward when it gets cold, insulating myself with wool sweaters and heated air and time. Cutting back still feels hard. What part of my life might I willingly release into the wind, so that the rest of it may flourish later? It’s true the more clutter that builds in the corners of my home, not to mention the corners of my mind, the less I’m able to stretch both muscles and thoughts. Only in a bit of emptiness can a new thing grow.
And so, I’m throwing things away, a little at a time. I hope to throw something away every day, making space. Out go papers and old clothes and bubble wrap; leftover yarn and a miniature fondue pot and even a few books I’ll never read. I’m postponing projects and opting out of meetings. I’m saying no without yet knowing what might be the yes that comes later. I just know the roses always come back with ferocity and that I’m always stunned beyond reason by their beauty. I want to be like them, ready when the time comes to give it all I’ve got.