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What do you want? It’s not always an easy question to answer. Lately I’ve been struggling with it myself.
So here’s another quick exercise inspired by the work of Kasia Urbaniak. Kasia has created her own very detailed processes around nurturing dreams and desires. One of her keen insights is that many of us don’t let our desires be big enough or specific enough, so that even when we do get what we want, we don’t feel satisfied.
So I made up this exercise to help myself expand my own capacity to name what I truly want. Similar to the 10 Utopias exercise I shared previously, the idea here is to flex your creative muscle, not necessarily to come up with something “realistic,” though it’s also worth challenging your assumptions around what you believe is “realistic” in the first place!
Note: This is NOT a free-writing exercise, though you could use this prompt that way if you prefer, generating lots of different wishes. If you’d like to use it the way I did, you will write three statements around the same wish, but with each one making the one before it either bigger, grander, more satisfying, or more wonderful in some way.
Here’s how it works:
Fill in the blank “I would love it if _______________,” where the blank space becomes a thing, experience, or circumstance that you would truly love if it materialized in your real life.
Example: I would love it if a friend came to visit.Fill in the blank AGAIN “I would love if if__________,” where this time, the blank space is an even BETTER scenario than the first one.
Example: I would love it if a friend came to visit and took me out to lunch.Fill in the blank ONE MORE TIME “I would love it if __________,” and now your wish is a ridiculously awesome variation of the previous one.
Example: I would love it if a few of my friends came to pick me up for a delicious dinner at a restaurant I love, and then took me to see an inspiring concert without me having to plan anything or even know about it in advance.”
Final thoughts:
Take your time with this and make sure your body is coming along for the ride. You want everything you write down to actually feel really good and to be something that, if it really did happen to you, would feel truly wonderful and generate real joy from the having or receiving or doing of it.
I suggest trying the 3-part sequence at least three times with three separate wishes. Start with the first thing that comes to you and then practice making it bigger, better, more detailed, or more specific.
Have fun and let me know how it goes!